Wake Up Calls.....

See those two up there?  Yeah, those two goofy girls; my two T1D kiddos.  They share much more than just looking a lot alike, sense of sarcasm, and T1D....They share my heart, my sleep deprivation, my exhaustion, my sense of humor, just to get the list going.  That picture was taken shortly before we all headed off to bed on Thursday night.  Who would've guessed what the night was going to throw our way.

Thursday, January 19th:  all in all, quite a normal day around here, generally speaking.  Gracie needed a pump site change and both girls needed new Dexcom sensors put in.  I sent them off to bed with fresh sites, good "in range" numbers, and tummies full of long lasting carbs to get them through the night.... then we all crawled into bed.  I checked on the girls around 1ish and they were still doing well, but at 2:34 I wake up to a strange buzzing sound, which I quickly identify as my phone ringing. Through half open eyes and sleepy fogginess, I realize it's Craig calling (He's in Colorado this week)....there must be something wrong for him to be calling in the very middle of the night.  I answer to hear him tell me that he just got an urgent alert on his phone and Sarah is crashing on us.  I fumble with my phone to flip open Dexcom and sure enough I see 42, I fumble a bit more to turn on my flashlight, make my way to the kitchen to grab a juice box, then downstairs to wake Sarah (no easy task, may I add).  Through her own grogginess I get her to drink the juice, complaining the entire time how she hates grape juice and that she's "fine" (yeah, baby girl, you're not fine, trust me).  As she's drinking the last of the juice I spot the package of Oreos on her dresser that she'd asked my to get for her when I was at the store earlier (totally a God thing because I buy Oreos about once a year and it's when I'm having the worst day EVER, plus Sarah rarely ever asks for junk food).  I give her a couple of oreos as well to "wash away" the taste of the juice she was still complaining about (you need to understand that Sarah only drinks water, coffee, tea, or smoothies).  Back upstairs I go and check in on Gracie only to find that she is 255...UGH!  Seriously?!?!?  I bolus her with insulin to bring her down and crawl back into bed to wait and see what happens.  I continue to watch Dexcom and see Sarah coming up decently, thinking "great!  Dodged a ball on that one and now I can go back to sleep"  Yeah.... NOPE.  Within an hour (and I was still awake) I see that she is crashing on me again 45 with two arrows straight down.  Back to the kitchen, this time I find apple juice, back downstairs to her room.  Wake the sleeping teenager yet again and work at getting her to down the apple juice.  She doesn't like that one either (note to self, find out what kind of juice this kid likes).  Give her 4 more Oreos.  Tuck her back in.  Give her another kiss on the top of her head.  Pet Annie, who seems genuinely confused why I keep coming in to wake up her mom.  Then back upstairs again.  Check on Gracie... she's still hanging in the mid 200s but has insulin on board.  Crawl back into bed and wait.  Only this time Sarah is awake as well and she's beginning to get scared.  She's seen this happen over the years with Gracie, but never really gave it much thought.  But now.... now it's her and she's faced with the fact that T1D is unescapable.

She begins to text me: "Mom" Me: "yes" Sarah: "I don't want to go into a coma" Those 8 words shatter my heart.  We raise our girls to live healthy, productive lives, not focused on their disease and what it can take from them.  Her realizing that a low blood sugar, missed because nobody wakes up to check on her, can lead to her going into a coma, or even her death is bittersweet.  Heartbreaking and renewing all at the same time.  Renewing in the sense of importance and purpose.... Not taking anything for granted. Me: "You aren't going to go into a coma sweetie, because I will stay awake and watch over you.  I promise"

By 4am Sarah was up around 120 and appeared stable, Gracie was coming down at 160; I could safely get a few hours of sleep before starting our day.  But I did not miss God's hand in all this.  First off: we've had trouble with Dexcom working with our phones and Craig and I sometimes go days without getting any readings or alerts at all.  The early hours of Friday morning it was working and Craig woke to the low alarm even though he was hundreds of miles away.  He was able to wake me up as well.  Second, we actually had some Oreos on hand, which we NEVER do.  Oreos are great in an emergency because they typically have longer acting results with raised blood sugar, not just your fast spike and immediate crash (the heavy fat in them, I'd guess).  Finally the third God moment of the night: Sarah learned that 1- T1D is not something you can wish away and 2- her mom and dad will do all they can to keep her protected, no matter what it takes.

Yesterday, the day after all that, Sarah was still having trouble with crashing blood sugars.  Thankfully, Dexcom was working as it was suppose to and I was able to watch her from home while she was at work all day.  What is going on?  Why is she struggling all of a sudden with severe low blood sugars, even though we've pulled back on her long acting insulin several days ago and upped her insulin to carb ratio?  My best guess is that she is beginning to exit her honeymoon phase and that her pancreas is spilling the last little bit of insulin it will ever make (barring a cure of course) in it's one last hurrah.  I don't know how long this will go on; a week, maybe a month; but we know that she's heading into the next phase of life with T1D.  Thankfully she has a loving God who places his hand of protection on her, his angels around her, and provides her parents with the technology to care for her and her sister in the best way possible.

Psalm 91:4
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge: his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. (NIV)