Time Warp...

I'm working on my first quilt for 2017, and as I'm sitting at my worktable piecing 32 of the biggest pain in the backside blocks you've ever seen (they're not difficult, I'm just really OCD about my points and these particular blocks are ALL ABOUT POINTS), I'm listening to the Sunday evening news shows in the background.  My mind is on a dear friend who's husband is suffering some medical issues and they aren't sure what is going on.  I'm praying over them.  I'm pinning these points, sewing the seams, and pressing everything just so.  And, all the while my mind starts to wander as it's prone to do....

I was born in the 1960s, grew up in the 1970s, graduated and got married in the 1980s, and started having children in the 1990's.  I was blessed to grow up under the watchful eye of two grandmothers, right along with my parents and aunts and uncles.  My cousins were some of my best friends.  I grew up at a time in when childhood was an adventure and we learned respect right along with independence and work ethic.  Why am I recounting all this?  Because I'm heartbroken that my children and grandchildren will never know the kind of life I knew.  Am I surprised by how the world has spun out of control?  Nope.... because I witnessed it as it was happening.  I watched what the "women's lib" movement did as it was doing it.  And while my opinion may surprise and tick off many, I stand by it..... the sexual revolution of the 1960's and the women's lib movement of the 1970s and 1980s are what has driven us to where we are today.

Today we are a country in turmoil.  There are fewer intact "traditional" families than not and kids have no real guard rails like we use to.  Sorry, but being a helicopter parent does not equate to guard rails because it does not teach kids how to grow up and deal with success and failure; it can't when the kids are not given any opportunity to fail therefore they don't know what success really is.  Mom's started entering the workforce in the 1940s because there was such a need for workers during WWII and then didn't want to go back to "just being a housewife" when the men came back.  The 1950s fostered the "keeping up with the Jones'" mentality and by the 1960s it was becoming more common to see married women holding down a job outside of the home.  What was the collateral damage for this societal upheaval?  Children were now left to their own devices while both parents were at work. Remember the term "latchkey kids"?  It wasn't a positive label.  We saw families eating around the dinner table less and less, and eating fast food more and more.  Cable TV came about and became the babysitter rather than generations interacting with each other, face to face.  It became more important to have the right labels on everything in your life than in having the right relationships.  It wasn't long before families began to fall apart at a quicker pace and we were told that kids are resilient and will be just fine no matter what choices their parents make.

When I was young, I heard a few couples say they were staying together "for the kids", it was expected that families stayed together unless it was dangerous for them to do so.  It wasn't just about being "happy" it was about sticking together through the good times and the bad.  We kids witnessed all that and took it all in, both the good and the bad.  We learned to "suck it up, buttercup" rather than to throw in the towel when things in life got tough.  We learned to put others before ourselves.  But, along with the introduction of Cable TV, came MTV, VH1, and talk shows like Oprah, Donohue, and yes eventually Geraldo and Jerry Springer.  These did not strengthen the family, rather they were the beginning of the deterioration of the family.  The message was "it's all about me" and that message came across loud and clear.

Fast forward to 2017...We now live in a time in our history where our own country is so incredibly divided because people don't know what to do with their feelings.  Yes, you read that right... it's not really about the big issues we face (and yes there are MANY HUGE ISSUES we face as a country and a society); our country is divided because we as a people no longer know how to handle differences in opinion.  Most people focus on the millennial generation, but forget to ask themselves why that generation is so volatile.  Well, for starters, it's pretty hard for them to know how to handle their feelings when they never saw the older people in their lives handling their own feelings in positive ways.  They witnessed anger or ambivalence; and they were never allowed to be bored, therefore they never had time to think about their own feelings racing through their soul.  When you keep children constantly busy and orchestrate or schedule every moment of their childhood, you aren't equipping them to handle their emotions let alone any problems or issues that arise in their life.  We've tried to neutralize everyone and everything, rather than celebrating and taking comfort and pleasure in our differences.  (OK, side note here.... this is actually what got me off on this rabbit trail to begin with.  I'm so tired of "the women's movement" and the message it pounds into us.  Women are not created to be the same as men; we are created to be their opposite.  Our strengths are their weaknesses and vice-versa.  If the women's movement was truly about feminism, it would celebrate our differences and help us find strength within them rather than telling us all that we are to be the same as men.  Neutrality is not feminism and I'm tired of hearing women say "I can take you on, do better than you, am smarter than you, etc." when talking to men.  I'm also sick and tired of them trying to tell my daughters and myself that they are fighting for "equal rights".  NEWS FLASH!  We have the same exact rights as men... stop lying about it.  If they want to say they are fighting against a wage gap, or even a gender gap within the working world, fine with me.... BUT STOP CLAIMING TO BE FIGHTING FOR EQUAL RIGHTS, WHEN WE ALREADY HAVE THEM.  I have freedom of speech - hello, I'm using it now.  I have the right to vote and used it just a couple of months ago.  I have the right to bear arms... yup, something I also exercise.  I have the right to my own religion and that is not just where I choose to worship.  Shall I continue?  THE SAME RIGHTS AS MY MALE COUNTERPARTS) We also have failed to teach our children, as a whole, to respect others regardless of how they feel about them.  Common Courtesy has become all but forgotten in our country and nobody knows how to agree to disagree any longer.  It's a sad and pathetic state of affairs to be in.

We just endured one of the ugliest and angriest election seasons in our history.  We all, no matter what side we were on, stated more than once that we would be thrilled when election day came so it would all be over with for a few years.... no matter the outcome of the election, we all had hoped we could put it all behind us and "get back to normal" once again.  The problem is, since we have become a society that doesn't know how to handle our feelings and difference of opinions, we can't get past the anger and rage, which has been manifested into fear.    Really???  We are excusing horrible behavior, riots, plundering, violence, hate... and on what?  All because people no longer know how to just treat others with respect and kindness.  I may not like the other candidate and may be disappointed that friends support that candidate, but my love for my friends is not made or broken by them being in 100% agreement with me.  I accept our differing opinions and we agree to disagree.  I remember all the wonderful things I love about them and know that our difference in opinion is just that, a difference in opinion.  I don't turn my dislike, disgust even, for their candidate or their cause into a pseudo  characteristic in them.  As an adult, I'm able to distinguish between my friends and politics.  My friends did not turn into my enemies over an election or a politician or a hot button issue.   I have every right to hold to my own beliefs and have my personal values based on my faith.  I needn't justify them to anyone.  But, just because the "other side" doesn't agree with me, doesn't mean they have the right to use bully and intimidation tactics to take my rights away or tell me that my faith values need to change, and punish me if I don't comply.  I wouldn't do that to them.

We endured 8 years living in a country run by politicians I not only felt were completely off base, but were malicious in much of their intent.  Did I scream and cry, call names, riot, burn down cities, destroy other's property, bully people, cut off relationships with friends and family, or in general behave badly because I claimed to be fearful?  Nope.  I continued to live life, enjoying my family and friends and looking for God's blessings, knowing that it was only a season and things would once again change.  IT'S CALLED BEING A GROWN UP.  The fact is, I have many friends whom I don't see eye to eye with on political issues.... but rather than focusing on that, we choose to enjoy what we do have in common and love each other in spite of our differences.  I don't try to belittle and bully them into changing their opinions, I accept that they have those and try to understand why.  It also doesn't mean that I sacrifice my deeply help beliefs to comply with theirs.  Unfortunately, our society seems to really struggle with how to do this.  People no longer know how to accept differences or how to respect others opinions.  They strike out.  In my half a century on this earth, I've truly never seen anything like it, I've only read about it in history books and throughout the Bible.  It's nothing but petulance and tantrums, all because society no longer knows how to handle their feelings. We've orchestrated every waking moment of our children's lives, leaving them no time to be bored and find something to do, use their imagination, or work things out within themselves or with others. We've rewarded all behavior rather than exceptional behavior. We've not made our children suffer the consequences for their choices. We've not expected our children to keep their word, rather we've taught them it's ok to make excuses. We've taught our children that respect is only earned and earned subjectively otherwise it's not given. We've taught them that education for the sake of looking good on college applications is what's important, rather than learning for the joy of learning and being able to use what they learn to better their everyday life as well as our society.  Now we are left with the outcome of a truly "ME CENTERED SOCIETY".   It's not too late to turn this around.  It starts in our own homes and then reaches out into our community.  Stop accepting Hollywood's version of tolerance and start living with common sense and common courtesy.  Start showing respect to those whom you disagree with and stop hiding behind the glass wall of "I fear for my kids" and "We are better than this"  because, frankly, our country IS much better than the mess it's become, but the only way we will ever see that is if we look outside of ourselves and try to see things as others do..... give people a chance and they just may surprise you.  And stop trying to neutralize everyone and everything.  There's beauty in difference... look for it, accept it, and enjoy it; don't work to squash it out of existence.

Alright, I think I'm done ranting for the night.  Hopefully it's brought a smile to you as you shake your head and say "there she goes again" and that maybe it's also given you a little food for thought to mull over and ponder while you attempt being a little bored for the first time in forever ;)  Since most people might classify me as a bit on the hippy side, I'll close with a genuine PEACE OUT PEOPLE.... No, seriously, turn off the news shows and tune into your family and find some peace :)