"At My Age"....

I'm not gonna lie.... it's just been one of those weeks.  AND, IT'S ONLY WEDNESDAY.  Sigh

We all have these times, and it frankly doesn't matter what age you are... 2 or 92, we have times that running away for awhile just sounds kinda nice.  But let's face facts, we can't always run away.  I mean, who is going to make sure everyone eats (even if it is McDonalds AGAIN) or that the dogs get fed (including their pumpkin oats mixture that you insist go on top their grain free food, so that they'll actually eat it), or that everyone has clean underwear on and has actually brushed their teeth and didn't just run the water for a few minutes to make you think they did???  Who is going to continue to make everything look pinterest perfect if you up and run off for a week???

Yes, this week has been a struggle around our home.  Stresses on all fronts... normal stress, transitional stress, extended family stress, work stress, health stress, you name it and we are most likely juggling it this week around our home.  And trust me, our home is looking a little worse for wear about now because of it.  I really need to tackle Mt Laundry and the Great Dish Wars (aka: get the dishes done - by hand, right now).  I may or may not have actually decided buying new underwear was easier than tackling the laundry the other night (and yes, I ALWAYS wash it before wearing - but at least there was (or wasn't) any sorting ;)  It's been the type of week that getting up in the morning is painful on every level, staying on task all day proves to be near impossible, and winding down and shutting off my mind at night is just not happening.  The kind of week that even your dreams keep you frustrated and busy, leading to zero rest.  Y'all should see my sleep readout on my Fitbit!  It looks as bad as Gracie's dexcom readings during puberty!  I spend more time "restless" or awake than actually sleeping.  And, what do you think all this leads to.....Yup!  You guessed it... a very cranky Mama, trying to hold it all together and be a good example for her 4 beautiful daughters. Let's just say, I've offered many peace offerings this week....

Then today I was watching a Facebook live that one of my sweet friends was doing for her Younique business.  This is a friend whom I've grown up with; friends for about 35 years or so.  We studied together, got into a bit of mischief together at times, graduated together, watched each other get married and start our families, and we've watched our families grow as well as watched our children grow up.  In her FB Live today, she made a simple comment..."at my age..."  If you know me at all, you are most likely not surprised that those 3 words sent my mind down a rabbit trail, especially after the week I've had already ;)

You see, she and I are the same age.  She just celebrated her milestone birthday yesterday.  She admitted that she had a hard time swallowing this particular number because "it's a BIG one".  But you know what?  I see the same sweet GIRL I've known since we were barely teenagers.  She hasn't changed at all, in my view.  She's just as beautiful today as she was at 15.  I see the same smile, the same gorgeous eyes, the same gentle heart.  It's that way with all my friends.  It's not that we haven't grown and matured.  It's just that we've all done it together.  But you know what?  I know that when she looks in the mirror each morning, she's not seeing what I see.  Like me, I'm sure she's harder on herself....hence her comment "at my age..."

Here's the deal: "At My Age" is the busy season of life.  Most of us still have children that we are raising at home, older children who are establishing their own life outside of our home, in homes of their own, some are planning weddings, some may be married and planning families, we are also sandwiched on the other side of things with caring for our parents if we are blessed enough to still have them with us, and we are also still very much in the middle of our career lives and the demands that puts on us as well.  So yes, when we look in the mirror we may no longer see the beauty we long ago remember, rather we see a tired reflection looking back.  It's during times of added stress, we see that reflection and tend to beat ourselves up all that much more, as we are flooded with the words and attitudes thrown carelessly our way and it becomes harder to not let them affect us.  As every hurtful word, look, or sigh that was tossed at us suddenly comes floating through our thoughts, they begin to stick; and we begin to feel "less than", beaten down, worthless.  And.... we get cranky.  We may withdraw into ourselves for much needed solitude.  And yes, we dream of running away.  Not forever, just for a few days; to sleep, rest, eat foods that you actually enjoy, not the leftover chicken nuggets from the kids lunch, walk in quiet solace, maybe take in a movie, read a book, do our nails and not get them chipped an hour later.  You know, grown up things that just sound so indulgent, but that our weary souls so desperately need.

So when you see a friend who seems to be dragging a little, or you happen to hear her children comment that "mom is so cranky", take a moment to offer something uplifting: a kind word, an invite to have coffee together, an offer to watch the kids while she and her husband go to dinner..... or just laugh with her and tell her how wonderful she looks even if she has a messy bun, shoes that don't match, and muddy paw prints all over her shirt while she's grumbling to herself about how everyone "can just go to *$#@" right now.  Life is overwhelming no matter what phase you're in and we really have no way of knowing what others are dealing with.  But, we can take the time to be kind and love on them without condition, without judgement.  It's what we are called to do.  Your kindness can absolutely lift someone else's burden... at least for awhile.   

#MomLunch

               

It's a perfectly rainy, spring day with all the robins in the neighborhood out enjoying every moment and us tucked inside, staying warm and dry. 

While the girls enjoyed spaghetti and meatballs for lunch, I wanted to eat quick and get some cleaning done before reading lessons start. It started out pretty well...protein shake and banana....but that old fashioned donut just seemed to be saying "Come on, you know you'll enjoy the energy burst I'll give you". Yeah, I caved, and it was mighty yummy😉

 

Fragmented Musing....

Have you ever had one of those times where your mind seemed to just go off on it's own journey, leaving you to just follow along to see where it ends up?  Sometimes it may be in the form of daydreams, other times you're flooded by memories, and then there are the times that something just grabs hold and won't let go of your thoughts, sending you right down a rabbit trail.

There are two movies out in the theaters right now that are fairly controversial within the christian community.... Disney's remake of Beauty and The Beast, and the big screen adaptation of the best selling book The Shack.  I've been watching the debates over these two movies for quite awhile now and it's left me standing somewhat alone.  Let me explain....

First off, let's look at Beauty and The Beast; a classic tale  full of life lessons, even from a spiritual point of view.  The current problem isn't with the story itself, rather it's with a statement the director made before it's release.  The Christian community went into an instant uproar; social media posts stating how you can't possibly be a christian if you sacrifice your standards and see this movie after what they heard about it, petitions to sign a boycott, blog posts galore..... all about something nobody had even seen, based only on a sentence that the producer said during an interview.  OK, let's just stop right here and think about something, shall we?  First off, we all know that the Disney corporation is very pro-LGBT; that's something they've never kept a secret.  But, they still, to this point anyway, have kept their parks, movies, TV shows, and merchandising family friendly.  We as traditional families still feel pretty darn safe watching their movies or spending our vacations at their parks.  Another thing to consider is that this particular movie is a musical.... acting within musicals is much "bigger" than in other forms of entertainment.... the gestures are bigger, the facial expressions are bigger, the vocals are bigger, etc.  Then we all must consider that within the entertainment industry the LGBT lifestyle is considered "normal" and mainstream; it's pretty natural assumption to think producers, writers, actors, etc are going to have their own personal agenda and "sneak" it in undercover.  It's been done since the beginning of time.  Innuendo, I believe is what you would call it.  It's everywhere you look, not just in movies and TV.

So, before I continue, I want to remind everyone of another very recent example of a Disney movie that the Christian community went into an uproar about because it supposedly had a "gay" scene... Finding Dory.  Here's the deal: I watched this movie with Hannah and Gracie, knowing what I'd heard about it, but figuring things were most likely blown out of proportion especially since, yet again, the uproar started BEFORE the movie was released and nobody had seen it.  Drum Roll, please...... I watched, looking for the problematic scene and I never saw it or I totally missed it.... and do you know what the problematic scene was that we in the Christian community were suppose to boycott this movie over?  Two women pushing a baby stroller in a crowd scene (keep in mind that this is an animated movie to boot).  THIS is what everyone had their panties in a wad over????  THIS is what we were suppose to boycott for????  THIS is what we as Christians were called on the carpet for if we chose to see the movie, and told that we clearly couldn't claim our christianity for if we were not willing to take a stand against it?  With that recent history in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but feel that it was something very similar with Beauty and The Beast.... So, I took Gracie and Hannah and we went to see it with our friends.  It was a beautiful retelling of this classic tale.  Disney production at it's finest, with the story and characters tugging at our hearts, getting us to cheer them on and BOOING Gaston, the villain.  Here's the thing, we went LOOKING for the problem, looking for the tweaked storyline of LeFou's interest in his hero Gaston, LOOKING FOR A CLEAR MESSAGE THAT GOES AGAINST TRADITIONAL FAMILY VALUES.  What we saw was a beautiful Disney Musical in all it's glory.  Yes, I suppose one could claim there was some innuendo in a few facial expressions, but frankly, I found NOTHING offensive and certainly nothing that I felt I had sacrificed my values as a Christian by watching or spending my money to see.  Even Gracie commented to me that she didn't hear any "gay" song or see anything that made her uncomfortable.

I'm going to stop right here for a moment and say that I know there is nothing "PC" about this blog post.... I am pretty sure that people on both side of the fence are reading this and frankly getting their prickles up because of one thing or another.  But, this is my blog and my opinion, so let's continue on;)

If you've read this far, I'm pretty certain that you're beginning to wonder what my point is, since I clearly don't have any issue with the movie itself, and furthermore, I'm no movie critic therefore my opinion really doesn't mean anything anyway.  Well, here it is...What's bothering me is how christians have purposely pitted themselves against each other and picked up a battle that isn't going to do anything to spread the Gospel.  On the contrary, what they are doing is damaging to The Good News of Christ.  Seriously, when I have christian friends whom I love and respect take the stance that "if you support this movie then you can't possibly be a Christian" I see the dangerous path they are on.  Please understand, I'm not saying we should "justify our sin", because I don't see anything sinful about this movie.  Anyone can find what they want to see.... if they want to see a blatantly gay theme then they are going to see it.  But I can point to even more "God" lessons in this movie than they can sinful ones.  I can watch this movie and see the Gospel message played out.  The messages of Grace, Redemption, Atonement, Forgiveness, Mercy, Eternal Hope, Sacrifice, just to name a few characteristics, is right there in glorious Disney color splashed across the movie screen.

What are we in the Christian community doing when we pit ourselves against each other?  Name calling, bullying each other in the name of Faith, issuing declarations and judgements that we have NO RIGHT to do.  It's called LEGALISM and Jesus himself warned us against it.  I would never deem to tell a brother or sister in Christ that they could not possibly be a Christian.  Yes, the Bible tells us that we are "known by our fruits" but a differing opinion doesn't qualify as knowing someone by their fruits.  Yes, we all make choices of what is right for us and our families, and yes, there are many things are are black and white.... but there are also things that are "grey", meaning that it's between us and the Holy Spirit.  If you feel a strong conviction about something then by all means, listen to the Holy Spirit and act (or don't depending on the leading He's giving you).  But we can't all expect the Holy Spirit to convict EVERYONE of the same things.  For example, there are many who have a strong conviction against even a drop of alcohol, and there are others who have a strong conviction against drunkedness yet feel comfortable having a glass of wine or a beer.  One is not right and the other wrong.... they may both follow the leading of the Holy Spirit but find what's ok for one is wrong for the other.  Telling Christian bothers and sisters they aren't Christians is hurtful, harmful, and dangerous.  It tears apart the body of Christ with infighting and it sends the message to those we are trying to win for the Kingdom of God that there is no room for them until they "get with the program and get it right".  Yes, I believe we should hold our brothers and sisters accountable according to scripture.... but having a difference of opinion about non consequential things is something completely different.  Silencing our brothers and sisters because they fear our backlash is no different than bullying.  Telling them they can't possibly be Christian because we "disagree" with them only accomplishes building up walls and tearing down relationships... not only with the brother or sister you disagree with, but also with those wondering what a personal relationship with God looks like.

Think before you react.... yes, there are most assuredly battles worthy to wage and we need to be a united community to be able to win those battles.  Tearing down relationships over the trivial things means only that we won't be effective in winning the BIG battle that has eternal rewards and consequences.  I encourage y'all to seek God's guidance when making decisions for you and your family, both big and small; and to understand that others are doing the same but may find a different answer in these "grey" areas.  Choose GRACE and LOVE over legalism, and let the Holy Spirit do all the convicting.... after all, that is what we are called to do.

Sundays....

   

Sundays equal quiet days around the Schroeder home. A time to refresh and regroup before starting a new week. Sometimes you might find us enjoying the day together, othertimes we each enjoy some quiet time in our own space (that whole "family full of introverts" thing, you know;). 

Today wasn't any different. Craig got back home a bit after midnight after working in Colorado all last week; that mixed with "springing forward" on our clocks meant we all needed some relaxation today. So, for the most part, we hung out in my office, each doing our own thing while watching I Love Lucy all day. I took a break from the quilt I'm trying to finish this week to just curl up in the corner of my sofa and work on this embroidered piece for the upcoming Christmas season. Such a sweet, fun piece to work a quilt around:)  I'm thankful for quiet days like this to enjoy something I love, totally guilt free :)

   

   

Yup, I still need to stitch his little carrot nose :)

               

 

 

 

 

Custom Quilting....

   

It's been a few years since I've taken on any quilting jobs...family life was just too busy to allow it...but I'm finally at a season in my life that accommodates it once again. For that, I'm very happy 😍

My (amazing, may I add;) hairdresser asked me to do something with the blocks her grandma (if I remember right) had embroidered for her when she was younger; and she's been VERY patient as she waited for my life to slow down enough for me to actually get it done. Since this year is my "Year Of Quilting" her quilt was number 1 on my project list. I've been working on it for a bit now and am hoping to have it done by my next appointment with her in a week. Really hoping she loves how it turns out 😬

Here's a little sneek peek 😉

                

   

                 

                 

 

 

 

 

My Little Part Of The World....

So...last night, around 2am, when most normal people are sound asleep....for some odd reason, I decided to play with maps on my phone. Well, here's actually how it started: I crawled into bed about that time. Fraser was on the TV. I look up and see him standing by his apartment door, which is # 1901.  That started me thinking about the apartment I grew up in before we moved into our house....1919 W. Victory Blvd. "Hmmmmm....I wonder if that old apartment building is still standing?"..... which then started me down this particular rabbit trail of thoughts...and what better time to journey down memory lane than at 2am🤔

So I type the address into my maps app, turn it to satellite mode, and sure enough, there it is. It hasn't changed! (At least from an aerial view). We moved into this apartment when I was about 3 1/2 years old. It was classic California at its 1970s best. The main apartment building was four units, probably built in the 1940s or 50s; 2 downstairs and 2 upstairs, with and center staircase between the two sides. There was a front lawn with a big tree that I use to dig up worms and pitch my pup tent under. We had a covered front porch, big window from the living room looking out into it, and we also had a covered back porch off the kitchen and dining room. Our washer and dryer were out on the back porch (yup, classic, vintage California living). There was a cement patio area out back, off our back porch, that my dad use to put my kiddie pool up every summer. That apartment had two bedrooms, one bathroom. It never felt small or crowded...it felt like home. It had warmth and character. We knew our landlord...he and his son actually were a presence there, doing the yard work, all the repairs needed, even stopping by personally to collect the rent each month. We also knew every one of our neighbors and, regardless of any differences, still were neighborly and we all looked out for each other. I remember the family that lived above us...they had a teenage son and daughter...who liked to party when the parents weren't home. My dad had no problem being "a dad" at those times and shutting their fun down when it was too loud and too late at night. It was the era of bell bottom jeans and groovy "peace and love". Yes, I grew up during the hippy era 😉

Directly across the street lived my grandma and next door to her lived my very best friend. Mamo lived in a sweet little duplex. She was in the front unit. I'm betting it was built in the 1920s and had all the classic architectural details to show from it. Soft plaster walls, thin slat hardwood floors, wide wood trim, kitchen appliances from the 1940s, and a little bathroom that most likely had been (well) renovated in the 1940s as well. In the backyard there was the clothesline, beyond that was my little heaven...a tiny orchard of apricot trees. I can remember every crack and curve of the front walk that led to the front door (complete with a curved step "front stoop".) I broke my arm when I was 5 years old, roller skating on that walk. Mamo use to sit my cousins and I out on that stoop after our naps, with mini marshmallows for a snack. And, I posed for picture after picture on that stoop in the clothes she made for me. 

Lisa and her brother and parents were next door. We would run back and forth between these three homes and yards, living the blessed life of kids in the 1970s. Strolling our dolls up and down the sidewalk, riding our bikes, roller skating, playing barbies on my front porch or under the shade of that big tree, running around the driveway in our swimsuits as my dad sprayed us with the garden hose on hot summer afternoons. It truly was the type of childhood you see on old shows.  Life wasn't perfect, but it had its blessings. 

                   

My apartment is on the lower right corner. Mamo lived across the street where the grey roof is. Lisa lived next door as you look "up" the picture. 

The summer before I went to 6th grade, my parents sent me off to Awana Scholarship Camp...and promptly moved while I was at camp. I KID YOU NOT, my parents moved while I was at summer camp. Classic 😂😂😂. Of course I knew they were moving, but it sounds so much funnier if I leave that part out😂. We moved about 2 miles up the road to a little WWII tract home. 900 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, living room, dining room, kitchen, an indoor laundry room (we moved up in the world!;) that was really the back porch that had been enclosed at some earlier point in time, and what seemed like a HUGE back yard. It was actually really big as our little home was on a double (tandem) lot, which meant we had a decent size front yard and a BIG backyard. I wasn't sure about this house when my parents chose it...it was 3 doors down from the cemetery!!!!!  The park was two blocks over, the armory was a few blocks away, Lockheed was right there as well, and we were blocks from the Burbank Airport...which all meant we were right in the flight path😬. Again, our house was tiny, but our home NEVER felt too small. My parents were always doing something on that house. The bigegest project was a kitchen remodel they tackled themselves. I remember they sanded the kitchen cabinets down to raw wood, then stained them...mom wanted the "new" country look 😀. Seriously...the cabinets were REAL WOOD, not like what we see today. The phone hung on the kitchen wall. I spent every night doing dishes, after 7pm because I would talk on the phone while doing them. Yes, the phone cord would be stretch all the way across the kitchen so I could chat with a friend (had to wait till after 7pm so it wouldn't cost a small fortune to talk on the phone).   Again, we knew all our neighbors. We visited with them...face to face, in each other's homes or over the fence. We were part of their lives. 

                    

Yes, that would be a cemetery; I wasn't kidding;). My home was 3rd from the corner, grey roof, on the right side of the picture. Nothing has really changed...it all looks like it did when we lived there until 1987. 

                    

The park (we tended to play in the cemetery more than the park. Just crawled under the fence;). The armory just behind the park...it was very active with the proof being the military transport planes that would take off and shake our house every single month. And, toward the top of the picture, the armory/Lockheed back parking lot I learned to drive in. 

My parents sent me to Village Christian Schools, up the road in Sun Valley. I took the bus every day, until my jounior year when I finally had my own car and could drive. Jack In The Box was on the way, only a few blocks from home...still to this day, my favorite place to eat. 

                    

While it's changed in small ways, that's still very much the campus I spent 13 years on (yup, kindergarten thru 12th grade).   

So, while most people hear that I grew up in Southern California and consequently have this picture of what that was like...truth be told, growing up, my world wasn't really all that big. It was a community where we knew everyone, shopped the local grocery store, ate at our favorite restaurants where they usually knew what we would order when they saw us, and we walked everywhere.  It really was "the good old days" and the type of life we all wish our own kids could enjoy. A childhood that was dictated by when the streetlights came on rather than smartphones :)

Sisters...

                     

 

                    

Maybe it's because it's 2am, but this cracks me up:)  #T1DSisters #Sisters #T1D