"Dear Craig, Dawn and Family..."

Every once in awhile I just can't help but be struck by the disrespect and hurtful nature of people.  I realize we live in a mobile and disposable society, but that shouldn't be how it is within relationships. Especially within families.  As a grown up, I can deal with it and do my best to brush things off.... but when my kids get hurt by it, I can't just let it roll off my back all the time; although, Lord knows I try.

Yesterday we had a reminder of just how unimportant family relations are to some people.  In the mail was an Easter card for our family....YAY!  I mean, who doesn't love getting notes and cards in the mail, right?  This card was from someone very close to us in relation, but when we read the greeting, we realized how distant things have really become (not by our choice either, as we have tried everything possible to mend the fractures in the relationship).  

The card read: "Dear Craig, Dawn, and family..."  Wait...What?!?!?!?  "and family"????  This was from someone who should know our girls names.  Furthermore, it's from someone whom it should be important to actually write their names on the card and not lump them into a generic greeting like you would a distant acquaintance.  From someone who you would think might actually find it important to send the girls each their own Easter greeting, rather than a generic card to the family with the intent of keeping everyone at arms length.  To make the habitual passive-aggressive intent even clearer, this card came from someone who knows that Tess hasn't lived at home for nearly 4 years and has yet not found it important enough to ask for her address to send things directly to her as a surprise in her mailbox amongst the bills and junk mail.  No, this isn't the first time... it's all the time.  

Why am I posting about this?  I don't know, really.  Yes, I'm angry.  Yes, I'm hurt.  Yes, I want to pick up the phone and call the person out on their hurtful behavior.  But....this is someone we love dearly, someone we treat with love and respect, someone we choose to look past the hurtful comments and judgements and pray that the relationship can be healed and restored, if not between that person and myself, then between them and Craig and our daughters.  I wonder if this person really thinks it's worth the long term effects of hurting these 4 amazing girls by showing them that they are thought to be so unworthy that they don't deserve their names to actually be written on this Easter card; to not include them specifically in the greeting.  Please understand, this person holds a place of high importance in our lives by the sheer position of their relationship to us, it's not just a card from a dear friend or the neighborhood insurance office.  

Do you know what the girls, the youngest two who were with me when I opened the card, had to say when I read it?  "Well, I guess [they, she/he] doesn't even remember our names now".  Yes, giggles erupted at that comment, but they weren't the joyous giggles you expect from 11 and 12 year old girls, rather the sad/nervous giggles when you are fighting back emotions.  These girls know they have been thrown away by this person, they know that they are viewed as an embarrassing inconvenience.  When in fact they should be cherished and treasured, not endured for 3 hours a year.  It's sad, tragic actually; they've done nothing wrong and have never caused any hurt nor shown any disrespect toward this person.  They done nothing but love.

As we head into this Easter weekend, please contemplate what it truly is all about.  Christ took each one of our sins upon himself.  He wore them, burdened himself down with their weight as he endured brutal beatings, cruelty from nearly everyone insight, and finally hung from a rugged cross with its splinters embedding in his torn and slashed body.  He died a cruel and gruesome death so that we may live all eternity in Heaven with Him and his Father.  He did all this after spending his earthly life living the perfect example of how we, his children, are to live.  He showed love and respect to all he encountered, meeting them where they were and offering new and eternal life if they/we followed him.  And, you know what?  He cared (stills cares) about every detail of each person... the Bible tells us that He calls us by name.  If our names are so important that Christ calls us by name and God has our names "inscribed on the palm of his hand", shouldn't it be important for us to also remember each other's names?  To show love and respect to others, rather than being unfairly judgmental.  Just some food for thought at this season of renewal and rejoicing.  HAPPY EASTER!