A Gentle Life....

My heart is conflicted lately..... Bursting with joy and love for my family and our life together; greatly grieved as I watch our society unravel at the seams.  I'm truly heartbroken by all that I see each and every day.

People wonder why I LOVE anything old and "vintage"... well, yes, I absolutely have a vintage soul; it's who and what I am.  But it's become stronger of late as society becomes angrier and completely self-focused.  I long for the days of my childhood, because in those days there was not the complete falling apart of society that we have today.  Families were strong, neighbors were friends, churches took care of not only their congregation, but their community as well, there was optimism, patriotism, unity.  No, it wasn't perfect.  I've lived long enough to see several wars, starting with Viet Nam.  While I was too young to remember the civil unrest at that time, looking back through our history we can clearly see that even as horrible as it was at the time, it wasn't what we are witnessing now.  Why?  Because through it all, families were still mostly intact and communities still pulled together... eventually.

The girls and I were out and about this morning, running a couple of errands; and in those two hours I was barraged with the harshness that has become the norm for our time.  I'm saddened that, it appears anyway, regardless of the generation very few people can see past themselves anymore.  I stopped into the doctor's office to pay our bill, the young girl at the desk didn't even greet me with anything more than "Next.."  From there we stopped at Dunkin Donuts to say hi to Sarah and enjoy yummy coffee concoctions (May I just say that an iced blueberry-vanilla coffee with extra cream and sugar is perfect for a spring-like day;).  Sarah worked, and the girls and I enjoyed chatting at the table for a bit before heading onto Sams Club for groceries.  The older lady at another table seemed put out that we were there, constantly shooting us "the look" until we left.  I'm not sure why a mom and her daughters enjoying coffee together put a bee in her bonnet, but it certainly seemed to.  Once we were on our way to Sams, I was stopped at a stop sign, waiting to turn left onto a somewhat busy street.  There was a car behind me waiting to turn right.  There is only one lane, so everyone waits their turn.  I feel the need to point out here, this other car with a female driver in her late 60s I'd guess, just pulled out of the church parking lot on the corner.... At any rate, I was waiting to safely make my turn while two cars headed my way.  One had their blinker on to turn right at this corner, the other appeared to be intent on going straight.... Since I was stopped at the intersection, I was able to see these two cars and wait for them.  The lady behind me could not see them from her vantage point....but that didn't stop her from getting agitated and blaring her horn long and loud at me to get me moving.  I could not move till these two cars passed; doing so would've caused an accident.... but that didn't matter to the woman behind me (who just pulled out from church).  She was upset and only focused on herself.  Up the road at Sams Club (we haven't been there in over a month), I noticed lots of new employees; and sadly, not a single one was polite let alone kind.  Customers too, are so focused on themselves that it doesn't occur to them to be polite to those around them who are also shopping.  I had two people actually tell me girls to "move it" because they perceived them as being in their way, no concept that we were also choosing a bag of cheese and then looking at the apples.  Seriously?  We can't be polite anymore?  Topping it all off was the young lady checking me out.  To say she was rude and disrespectful is putting it mildly.  I'm the customer... I do not OWE anyone my business, I give you my business because I CHOOSE to do so.  Making your customers feel disrespected and like they're a bother for you to deal with (I chose not to use the self-serve lines) is unacceptable.  But... how do we stop this?  Can we stop this decline?

We now live in a society where everyone is angry, all the time and about everything.  There is no filter any longer.  Manners are considered too authoritative.  Authority is considered abusive.  Personal opinion is all that matters, regardless of any facts that may prove otherwise.  There is no "agree to disagree" mentality any longer.  If you disagree, you open yourself up to bullying and harassment.  Truth of any kind is considered intolerant.  Look, this isn't just our kids generation setting the pace; it's the baby boomers that have bought into it and they've set the example.  Why should 20 year olds behave any differently when their grandparents can't be bothered with setting a better example?  When I was growing up my grandparents had a HUGE impact on my life; they were also part of my daily life, investing themselves into me in every way imaginable.  They came alongside my parents to help shore up our family.  They showed me by the way they lived and loved, how to be a positive part of our community, church, neighborhood, and family.  They didn't let me ever once think that everything revolved around me, rather they showed me how I could impact things, both for good and bad, by my attitude/behavior/response/mindset.  It's because of them that I am able to stop and think before I react (usually;).  I realize that I have no way of knowing what others are going through at any given moment, but that I can choose to either be a blessing or a burden to them by my response.  What if the hurried woman in the car behind me, blaring her horn to make her point, had done that to an elderly person or even a brand new driver?  The result could have been devastating.  And for what good reason?  Is someone's life really worth getting somewhere  2 seconds earlier for you?  Instead of assuming I wasn't paying attention, how about assume the best, that maybe I see something you don't?  Instead of being the rude and disrespectful cashier who makes a lasting impression on the customer, how about making the choice to be kind rather than "better than" to those who come through your line?  You don't know what they are dealing with in their life.  On the other hand, instead of being the rude customer focused only on yourself, why not CHOOSE to brighten someone else's day by being kind and, dare I say, saying thank you?

Everyone has struggles in their life.  Everyone also has blessings if they choose to look for them.  Our opinions mean nothing, but our hearts, our hearts hold the key to every good thing.  Yes, we all have bad days.  It's life.  But if we could all just make the CHOICE to think about others rather than ourselves, society wouldn't be so angry ALL THE TIME.  This society runs on nothing but feelings and feelings are ever-changing.  It's no wonder things are spiraling down so fast.  There are no longer any hard and fast truths...even scientific facts are thrown out because "people don't like them".  Everything is up in the air and open for personal interpretation based on personal feelings "at the moment".  That, however, does not foster positive and strong relationships.  For relationships to grow and last, they need to stand on something more solid than a mere feeling; but we are seeing families fall apart because nobody knows how to handle tough feelings anymore.  Society thinks that when the going gets tough.... you bully your way to get what you want.  NO!  There once was a time when we knew how to respectfully discuss things, even hard things.  And, it all starts with thinking of others before yourself, being polite, not assuming the worst in others, accepting differences and challenges, and RESPECT.  Tolerance has been the battle cry for far too long.... when in all reality our battle cry should be RESPECT ~ for others and ourselves.  Start there, and you will naturally move into kindness, which will lead you down the path to gentleness.  I don't know about all of you, but I much prefer living a gentle life than being angry all the time.  A gentle spirit changes the world; an angry heart just sows the seeds of discord and war.  #kindnesschallenge #gentlelife