This song came up on my playlist the other day and struck a chord with me. It's poignant, vulnerable, raw emotion... It's not a song of defiance, rather it's a song about choosing grace.
Many don't know my life story, and while I won't go into the details right now, I will say that I grew up in a life I knew wasn't the norm. My family has a long history of abuse on both sides, and I was raised by loving parents whom had their own struggles. My dad was an alcoholic and became very abusive when he would get drunk. My mom grew up, herself, with an abusive father. My grandmother knew only abuse from the men in her life (from her father and husband) as well. Through it all, God was there.
I can honestly say that at the absolute worst times in my life, I felt the presence of God the strongest. I absolutely KNEW my guardian angels were with me, keeping me from great harm from the time I was very young. I never once have questioned if they are real, or if they were there, creating a protective hedge around me. My mom and grandmother went to great lengths to keep me safe when I was young. Was my life different than my friends? I'd guess so.... but then again, I have no more way of knowing that, than they would have known what my life entailed. You see, while I knew it wasn't "normal", it was nonetheless MY normal, and I learned quickly how to live with it and how to cover it up so others wouldn't see. By doing so, it would have been easy for me to continue down the same path and ultimately place my children into the same familial cycle. However, God had His hand in my life and I was fortunate enough to feel Him working for as long as I can remember.
This song has really made me think... not only about my life, but about where society is now and will continue to head. I think back to how society was long before I was born... I LOVE history, after all, and love to dig in deep, so studying how society ran has always held a special interest to me. Something that has really been standing out to me for quite awhile now is that grace is being replaced by defiance. Hang with me here;)...
There once was a time, not so long ago, when we would "just deal with it", no matter what "it" was. We took responsibility ourselves, and walked away from situations we didn't want to deal with, without creating fuss and drama. These days, on the other hand, everyone is offended about everything, and they take it all as a personal affront, which in turn gives them reason to become defiant. And, to make matters even worse, everyone feels entitled to always feel good or happy, and when confronted with something that makes them uncomfortable in the least, they lash out.... because, you know, they have "the right" to. That's where this song comes into play....
When I heard this song, I realized that it's about not only facing your giants, but facing them with grace. It's about CHOOSING to become better BECAUSE of what was suppose to tear you completely down. It's about not bothering to assign blame, but rather realizing even though you didn't choose the circumstances that are meant to tear you apart, you are in control of how you CHOOSE to react and of what you choose to do with it all. Nobody decides how your story is written, but you. Each day is a new beginning, each hour may be another battle fought... and the battle may be to not let your past define your present. Rather than only seeing the bad, look at it all as a gift that has allowed you to prevail. By choosing to offer grace even in times of chaos and trouble, you in turn receive the blessing of grace showered down on you, and that very grace will go on through the generations. Can we as a society get back to living lives of grace? Well, it quite literally starts with one person and spreads from there.
"This is the sound of surviving. This is my farewell to fear. This is my whole heart deciding. I'm still here, I'm still here. And I'm not done fighting. This is the sound of surviving." (This Is Sound Of Surviving by Nichole Nordeman. Every Mile Mattered)
