Thanksgiving...28 years later:)

Thanksgiving has ALWAYS been special to us.  Craig and I met a couple days before Thanksgiving 1987 and were married Thanksgiving weekend 1988. For us, there's nothing better than the crisp autumn air, the laughter of family gathered near, and the lights and sounds of the approaching holiday season. We've known tremendous joy, as well as sadness and loss. In the almost 3 decades of our life together, we've grieved at the loss of my dad, all of our grandparents, as well as a few close friends. We've rejoiced in the delights of our four girls, and the joys of the dailyness of our family life.  Yes, It's A Wonderful Life. 

This year we enjoyed a quiet Thanksgiving with the girls and Mom gathered close for Thanksgiving dinner. Then Sarah and I talked GramCracker into joining us for our annual Black Friday shopping trek (a miracle in itself because she goes to bed so early, yet stayed awake and had a great time until well after midnight). While we were out and about, Craig and Gracie got our Christmas tree up and the lights on so our army of elves could come back and create chaos until Christmas Eve. And Hannah just enjoyed hanging out at home watching Christmas movies. 

Mid-shopping meal. Sarah's blood sugar was crashing and mom needed energy to keep going. 

For our anniversary, Craig and I decided a road trip to see the pageant and lights in Minden were in order. Sarah had to work, Tess has her own life these days, so we loaded Gracie and Hannah up and off we went. In classic "Schroeder style" things started to go awry from the start. After a delayed start due to McDonalds yet again getting Gracie's Big Mac order wrong (it's a crime against Big Macs, really...two beef patties slapped between the three pieces of a Big Mac bun...seriously!  No pickles, sauce, lettuce, cheese. UGH!). We get nearly to York and Sarah calls to tell us she'd locked herself out of the house...no house key or truck keys. GramCracker to the rescue, thankfully!  A quick stop at Starbucks for lattes all around. And then....a strange "pop" sound right around Wood River. Yup, a flat tire. Thank God for AAA. The tow truck showed up about an hour later, loaded Lucy up on the flatbed, told us we could all get cozy in the cab with the girls in our laps, and back to Grand Island we went. It was about 3:00 at this point, so a quick meal of pizza, hot dogs, and soft pretzels at the snack bar while waiting for Lucy to be back on four tires, then off again. A little exploring in the country, and we made it to Minden minutes before the parent started. 

We made it off the interstate and into a truck stop just in time before the last gasp of air left that poor tire 

Loading Lucy up...

Nothing like a selfie to commemorate their first tow truck ride.

Getting Lucy some triage help at Sam's Club. 

Back on the road. Those are trees blurring by...no, my window is not that dirty;) 

Now, if you have ever bemoaned the loss of Christmas spirit in our society, ever wished for Christmas like it was in days gone by, wanted to see the true meaning of Christmas without the commercialization and merchandising that only creates greed and discontent...head over to Minden, NE. You will find your heart melt and tears slip down your cheeks as you're transported back to when Christmas was "real". It's like nothing you will ever find anywhere else. And...it's the true Christmas story, the story of the birth of Jesus. Gracie and Hannah were in awe, and Craig and I smiled, knowing it was something they'd never forget. It was the perfect way to spend our 28th anniversary!  

So, as we are heading into the heart of the holiday season, it's our wish and prayer that everyone can find the true love and contentment that only God can give thru His gift of Jesus, born to be the ultimate sacrifice for our sins, with the gift of eternal life in Heaven. Enjoy the delight in your children's eyes as they take in everything and tuck it all away to pull out as precious memories down the road. Merry Christmas!

Craig opening his gift...the quilt I started 3 years ago and only worked on when he was traveling and wouldn't see it. I couldn't believe I actually pulled it off!

It's hard to see, but this is a gorgeous pewter frame set with turquoise. Craig got it for me on one of his trips to Colorado. 

Gracie drew a cabin for her dad. 

And, she got me a 1950's pickup, complete with mud :)

Of course, we made friends with an adorable bulldog named Violet :)

Thanksgiving with the Schroeder Clan

Three Generations

Papa Bear...and his beautiful daughters

Where has the time gone?  They're no longer babies

Milestones...one step at a time

See that text up there?  That is HUGE!  Sarah has been gradually taking control of her diabetes, one step at a time. Today, for the first time, she ventured out of her ever growing comfort zone, figured the carbs for her lunch...then figured the insulin needed to cover those carbs based on her sliding scale. She then gave herself her injection. I will shout it from the rooftops....I'M SO PROUD OF HER! 

De ja vu.... well, kind of....

Remember the cult favorite movie, Groundhog Day?  Bill Murray wakes up and relives the same day, every single day... until he finally gets it right.  Do you ever relate to that?  I certainly do!!!  Problem is, we are human, this thing we call life is crazy and unpredictable, and it's impossible to ever get everything "right".  The important thing to "get right" if you will, is understanding that God is in control and He can see the end while we are still struggling with the beginning.  Better yet... He wrote the end and it's fabulous!

Sarah's diagnosis with Type 1 Diabetes and the ensuing days since, has reminded me of that movie.  Yes, we've been here before.  Yes, we understand what all it entails, the weight of it all, and what it takes to live victoriously with it.  Yes, we understand the complications and struggles all too well.  But, we also understand that life is always moving and each one of our children is unique and original.  That means, that Sarah's path and Gracie's path are going to be unique and original as well.  Life with T1D is not like the movie.... it's impossible to ever "get it right" no matter how many times you do it over and over.  Why?  Because there isn't any such thing as "getting it right" in the world of T1D; rather it's all about giving it 200%, doing what is right for each person, and understanding the outcomes are going to be different, because each person is unique.  

Gracie doesn't remember a moment in her life without T1D.  Being diagnosed as a baby of only 14 months old was a strange blessing.  There was no need for her to accept anything, transition to new habits or a new way of life... as a baby, every single day was new and involved transition, learning, growing.  T1D was just "normal" for her.  It was us as her parents and her family that felt the transition, the weight, and the burden of her diagnosis.  Our lives changed, hers did not...or at least she had no way to know that it had.  At 16 years old, that same diagnosis for Sarah is vastly different.  She knows what a "normal" life is and she doesn't want to give that up.  She doesn't want to feel different, be treated differently, or have to explain why she has to now do the things she has to do in order to live.  For Sarah, she has gone from being a caregiver for her little sister, to now having to also be the diabetic.  I don't think she or anyone else really understood what a BIG DEAL that really is.  IT'S HARD!  

Sarah knows what T1D is.  She knows what daily life with T1D entails.  She knows when insulin is needed and she knows when fast acting glucose (sugar) is needed.  She knows about counting carbs and that insulin needs to be dosed based on accurate carb counting along with blood sugar numbers.  She knows that activity affects blood sugar and that you need to balance that with food to keep it stabilized.  She knows... She knows... She knows...  BUT..... now she is the diabetic, and she's 16, and it's difficult to put the same care into yourself as you do caring for your little sister....because, you're "fine" and can deal with things, and you should be able to continue living your life just as before the doctor said those two dreadful words you never wanted to hear.  And, now, Gracie is put into a mentorship role with her big sister; desiring to help her down this path.  Knowing what it's like to feel different and at times left out, and not wanting her big sister to have to hurt like she has over her lifetime with T1D, but also struggling because more times than not, Sarah's numbers are better than hers (Sarah is in the "honeymoon" phase so her BG is not usually as crazy as Gracie's can be) and finding herself wondering if she is not a "very good diabetic" after all.  Like it or not, T1D is a numbers disease and diabetics are "judged" off their numbers.  And, like it or not, T1D doesn't play fair.... you can do everything right, by the book, and things still aren't always the way you want them. What works for one person may or may not work for another... even when they are sisters.  

As their parents, we struggle too.  It's not the same.  We have all the same worries, burdens, and concerns... and more.  New Ones, Big Ones, Things we hadn't planned on having to worry about for a few more years.  And yet, here we are, doing our best to daily take care of the special needs of our two diabetic daughters, while also meeting the needs of all 4 of our girls and the demands of life in general.   Gracie is home with me and I can keep a close eye on her, while I help her transition into taking ownership of her T1D, Sarah is BUSY and not home all that much.  Gracie has lived her entire life with T1D, Sarah has lived a month with it.  I can manage Gracie's T1D myself, but with Sarah I have to work as a team with her as she learns what it all entails.  Gracie is tired of dealing with it, but accepts it.  Sarah doesn't want to have to deal with it and is working on accepting it.  So similar, yet worlds apart.  As their parents, it's up to us to meet their needs, where they're at in this lifelong journey.  We feel stretched and sometimes torn.  What was "habit" a month ago, is all new again.  The dynamics are different.  It's all encompassing.  It's exhausting.  But, life keeps chugging along.  There is no break, no vacation... heck, there's not even a mini "staycation".  We are blessed.  Craig's career that he is so passionate about,  provides for us.  God continues to provide new clients and new contracts.  Craig's career allows him to be more involved with the family on a daily basis, unlike if he worked 8-5 in an office.  He has flexibility thanks to his career path.  Thanks to his hard work and sacrifice, I am able to be a stay at home wife and mom, which means I can give the girls what they need 100% of the time.  Homeschooling just fits right in with the life we've chosen to give our girls... and now that we have 2 Type 1 Diabetics, it's even more of a blessing than ever before.  But we still feel like we are foundering at times.  The weight of caring for our family, the things going on in our country and the world at large, the responsibility of "normal" life, Craig's crazy travel schedule and working easily 100+ hours a week (see why it's such a blessing he works from home?  At least we get to see him;) on a regular basis, the major health issues we deal with (the girls T1D along with my own health issues) gets to be unbearable at times.  We sink.  We feel like we are failing  some days.  We cry.  And then.... we pray and beg for God to let us feel His presence and strength, knowing that without Him we can not go on any further.   And God lovingly picks us back up, rights our path, and sets us in the right direction once again.  It's through Him alone that we can face this "groundhog day" each and every day, knowing that we will never actually "get it right", but that we can give Him all praise and bring His name glory in how we choose to face each day.  It's because of God's Grace and His Mercy alone that we are able to face each day, with all that is thrown at us, and live victoriously no matter what the burden is that we are carrying or the giant we are facing.  

I am so thankful that our daughters share our faith and have the strength that only God can offer to face anything that comes their way, knowing all too well, that it will be different for each and every one of them along the way.  And yet, the emotions roll over me as I watch Sarah struggle to accept something she does not want to accept, and I watch her little sister try to process why it's such a big deal when we've spent her entire life trying to not make it a huge deal so that she doesn't always feel "different".  Yes, they have each other; they are sisters... they look very much alike, they share the same sense of humor and the same all encompassing love for each other, and yes, they now share T1D.  But, they are still very different in how they deal with things.  Sarah HATES change, any kind of change (and this is a life changing type of change), whereas Gracie accepts change and rolls with the punches. The same, yet different; two ends of a spectrum.  De Ja Vu... only with a twist.     

Little Mama

Gracie has always been a little mommy, tending to her babies with the greatest of care. I don't remember a time she hasn't had a baby in her arms. At 12 years old, I know these days are fleeting, so I cherish them all that much more. Tonight, on our shopping trip to pick up a couple things for the week, she brought along her newest baby boy. She has worked hard to pay for him all on her own, which makes him all that much sweeter. I am always amused at the reactions of people who see her with her babies. It's hard to convince them they are dolls 😂😂😂. Since they are artist creations, they look just like a living, breathing baby. They are even weighted, so they feel like a newborn  when they're all snuggled in your arms. This little guy weighs three pounds and is about the same size Hannah was when she was born. He caused quite the commotion in line at Walmart; the woman in front of us, the guy behind us, and the cashier were all smiling and cooing at the sweet little newborn...and when I told them he was her doll, the women had to hold him, even then they both commented how real he was. Gracie just beamed, like any new mama would 😀

A Month To Remember....

So, October hasn't been exactly a banner month for the Schroeder clan.  It began on October 1st with Sarah being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and will end on October 31st with Dawn having her gallbladder removed.  Grab a latte', curl up in your most comfortable seat, and come along as I look back at the journey that was October 2016....

Sarah is still grappling with her diabetes.  She is compliant in action but defiant in spirit when it comes to her T1D.  I can't blame her.  I'd want to ignore it or run away from it myself.  It's life altering, especially at 16 years old, right when you're spreading your wings and beginning to fly.  Planning for college, working almost full time, school work, dance company, church youth group, leading the middle school girls at church as well.... there wasn't any room for something as HUGE as T1D; yet here it is, the biggest party crasher of them all.  She does her finger pokes, texts me her numbers, tells me what she's eating.  I figure out her insulin doses and give her the shots, I pour over her log to make adjustments where needed, adding in additional shots as we go along.  Within the past month she's gone from only needing an insulin shot at lunch, to now needing her long acting insulin shot each night (provides her a basal rate of insulin for 24 hours) and 2 soon to be 3 shots of fast acting insulin when she eats.  Yes, over the past month, since her diagnosis, things have progressed rapidly.  Rapidly enough for her endocrinologist to approve an Omnipod pump system for her to start on whenever she feels ready to do so.  She is keeping her focus on God's will for her in all this; knowing that He has a purpose for her to reach people through her T1D...but at 16, it's still hard to accept, and there are those days that you just want to chuck it all and run away from it.  She is awesome though, and doing well.  She will continue to grow stronger as she fully accepts all that this new normal entails for her.

As her mom, I struggle.  Our family and daily dynamics have changed.  I've lost my groove.  Our life is crazy and a bit chaotic to begin with, over the past 11 years we've managed Gracie's T1D naturally, without giving it much thought once we got about 6 months past her diagnosis so many years ago.  But now....now, I have two with T1D and it requires A LOT of attention.  Things are falling through the cracks and at times I feel like a duck, paddling like mad just to stay afloat, and barely treading water.  I find that as my focus is on Sarah at the moment, I forget to check Gracie's numbers and tell her to bolus for her meals (unless we are all together, of course) and end up bolusing a correction dose of insulin instead.  Gracie SHOULD know to do this, but she is a kid and frankly chooses to ignore it.  She doesn't realize the long term danger she places herself in by ignoring her T1D right now.  As their mom, it's my job to manage their T1D, help them to take ownership of it themselves so they can manage it themselves, and eventually pass the torch, so to speak, to each of them as they are ready to live independently, caring for themselves and their T1D.  I'm not going to lie, I feel like I'm failing at this right at the moment.... I know it will get better, but right now, I'm running in circles trying to stay on top of everything their T1D entails.  Simple things such as night time checks are complicated by the fact that Sarah sleeps downstairs and we sleep upstairs... that means that Craig and I need to go down two flights of steps and to the opposite corner of the house in the dead of night to do finger pokes on her (Gracie is just across the hall from our room).  Sarah isn't home much, so most of her T1D management is via text and she and I meeting up for her shots when she's at work, dance, church, or out with her friends.  She drives.... yeah, that's terrifying for a parent when the teen driver is a newly diagnosed T1D.  She doesn't appreciate the rule of testing before starting the truck, but to her credit she does it :)  We are working towards getting Sarah a Dexcom (continuous glucose monitor) so we can see her blood sugars, real time, on our phones.  This is vital since she doesn't know what it feels like to have a low blood sugar yet, since being newly diagnosed she's only used to higher BGs.  Of course insurance has already denied it because she hasn't had any lows to show, but I'll be filing an appeal based on medical necessity based on other criteria besides just low BGs.  Yes, all the cutting edge technology in the world of diabetes helps immensely, but it also complicates things too.  Mixed blessings.

Craig has been in Colorado pretty much this entire month, coming home on the weekends.  God has blessed him with an incredible amount of work, new clients, and new contracts, but the sacrifice is that he is away from home quite a bit.  When he's home though, we enjoy time spent together as a family, and I enjoy not doing the nighttime BG checks :)  Last weekend, for example, we loaded up and went to Topeka for the Mother Earth News Fair, something we've enjoyed doing the last couple of years.  It's an awesome experience for the girls to learn new things that you'd never find covered in text books.  We've been planning and trying for nearly 4 years now to move back to the farm.  We want to build a home that can function off grid, where we can live comfortably and self-reliantly with our girls and enjoy our animals.  The Mother Earth News Fair is great for learning about alternative building techniques, better gardening and food production, animal care, etc.  The girls learn more in a day spent there, than a week at their desks :)  This year however, I wasn't feeling that great, and on the way home was throwing up every few miles in the road ditch.  UGH!  That was a first for me.  It didn't take long for me to finally realize what was going on..... my gallbladder was acting up.

Monday I got into my doctor.  She ran a slew of lab work and sent me for an ultrasound.  By Tuesday, her nurse called with the ultrasound report and the news that I was being referred to the surgeon.  I met with the surgeon's nurse on Thursday who explained everything to me.  Basically, it's time for my gallbladder to go, there's just no getting around it.  And, it's better to do it now while I have the "choice" than to wait for it to potentially rupture and be in an emergency situation.  So......that leads me to this coming Monday..... I'll be in surgery getting my gallbladder removed.  Thankfully, Craig is home until Wednesday this coming week, and Tess and Sarah took off work to watch Gracie and Hannah while I'm in the hospital. It's yet another time I'm ever so thankful for our homeschooling lifestyle!  Sarah can do her schoolwork while she and Tess help Gracie and Hannah with their lessons.  They can take care of the animals and things around our home as well.  I can go to the hospital knowing they are all just fine, and for that I'm beyond thankful.  Of course, my mom and Anne (the girls surrogate mom and riding instructor) are on notice in case they need anything, which again I'm so thankful for.  With a family like ours, that has the special needs we do, we have never really had backup in emergencies; now that Tess and Sarah are grown and can take care of their little sisters at times like this, it's a huge relief.  Again, a benefit of the homeschooling life.... a close knit family that pulls together in times of need :)  Yes, I love my little tribe :)

So, here it is, Saturday afternoon.  Craig is listening to the pre-game on the radio, researching ways to keep insulin cool should anything happen to the power grid (like it or not, we've all been told that it isn't an "if" but rather a "when" it will go down at some point) and pricing out one of the building techniques he recently learned about for the house he's designed at my work table.  The girls are upstairs enjoying themselves on this beautiful last Saturday in October with their best friend Rhi.  Sarah is in her happy place....working at Runza until 9 tonight.  The dogs are basking in the late autumn sunshine.  And me.... well, I'm going to go curl up in the corner of the sofa and do some stitching while I watch my hubby from the corner of my eye as he concentrates on his research, sharing my happy place with him, so thankful that he takes providing for all of us as seriously as he does.  Yes, October 2016 will go down as a month to remember in our family history, but we are all together, snug in our home, and that alone still makes it all good :)

Tales From The Ark....an excerpt from the soon to be released memoir of the life and times of the Schroeder Clan

Mistletoe....This Sweet Boy Turned To A Life Of Crime (momentarily;)

There are definite certainties in life, death and taxes, as the saying goes.... and for the Schroeder Clan there's one more certainty:  Every time Craig leaves town, there's going to be some sort of crisis.

Sure enough, yesterday he headed back out to Colorado to work with clients for the week, and before noon I had a child in tears and I was having trouble deciphering what exactly the problem was.  Thankfully I had some backup this time, as Tess was home for a visit :)  As we were sitting in my office talking, Gracie came downstairs in tears, unable to speak.  All I could figure out was that it had something to do with her geriatric gerbil, Daisy.  "Did Daisy die?" I asked.   Tears flowing and a garbled "I don't know" was all I could understand.  We all ran upstairs, and as we hurried I also heard the name "Mistletoe" uttered.  Uh Oh....

Our sweet Mistletoe is one of our christmas kittens from this past year.  He has never given a second glance to any of the small critters living in this house, yet today for some unknown reason, he decided he wanted to play with Daisy, the gerbil (he may have actually been thinking "lunch" but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here).  As Tess and I go running upstairs, we are putting pieces together that Mistletoe has done something to Daisy.  We are not quire sure what to expect and are afraid of finding her half alive on the living room floor, or (gasp!) still limp in Mistletoe's mouth.  We get upstairs and discover that Hannah had spun into action in superhero speed and gathered all our kittens (who really aren't so much kittens anymore), placing them behind a locked bathroom door.  I then see Daisy's cage turned upside down after it had been knocked off the bookshelf that it sits safely on....Daisy nowhere to be seen.  I pick up the cage, afraid to find her crushed underneath and suddenly see her scurry through the wheels of Craig's gun cart.  WHEW!!!!  She's alive!  But, she's scared and has a reputation for being a biter, so now what?  A quick planning session takes place to come up with a way to catch her without getting bitten.  It took some patience, a pair of snow gloves, a brave oldest daughter, lots of gerbil road blocks, but I'm happy to say that she is once again, safely in her cage.  She settled down after a quick snack, and spent the afternoon napping in her mushroom house.  The offending kitten spent the afternoon in time out, reciting "We do not eat our friends" 1000 times.

I would love to say that this is an abnormal day in the Schroeder home.... but I can't.  No, we don't always have an attempted murder by one of our own, but there is never any shortage of excitement and chaos around here.  These critters can create extra work and drama for sure, but they also give us lots of opportunity to LOVE and LAUGH through their antics.  Until such time as we get moved back to the farm, the pet population around our home serves as a valuable training ground for our girls.  They learn responsibility, respect, love, sacrifice, just to name a few of the values taught through caring for animals.  And, these lessons are driven in much deeper than just your normal childhood chores, as our girls understand that their pets very lives are dependent on the care they give them.  Frankly, messy bedrooms and other chores that get shuffled to the side because of something more fun, doesn't end in anyone dying.  But, forgetting to water or feed your critter does.  Learning to put yourself second and caring for someone or something elses needs first is THE MOST PRECIOUS GIFT we can ever give our girls.  After all, it's teaching them to be God's hands and feet here on earth.  It's for that very reason that we will always have a houseful of critters.... well, that and the fact that they are just fun and provide more laughter than any other show in town ever could :)

When You Can't Escape The Unwanted...

How do you react when you get an unwanted knock on your door or one of those dreaded "unknown caller" calls on your phone?  I'm sure I'm not the only one that wants to hide and just not answer at times. I mean, doesn't it sometimes feel intrusive and you just want to close the door or hang up the phone...make it all go away?  Well, that's kinda how we've been feeling around our home lately. You see, an intruder we know all to well came knocking again, and this particular intruder never leaves. 

Let me start at the beginning: last March Sarah was diagnosed with walking pneumonia. She did everything she needed to do, but she just never fully bounced back. Over the ensuing months, she continued to lead a normal busy life that any 16 year old leads....work, school, dance, church, friends...but she could never shake the constant fatigue. She seemed more susceptible to little viruses, her eczema was flaring in a huge way, then suddenly she sent me a text that said "Mom, I swear I'm starting to feel like you. Every joint in my body hurts. I feel like a 60 year old trapped in a 16 year old body."  (Not that I'm 60, mind you;). Well, that caught my attention. Between her major psoriatic eczema flares and now her painful joints, it was time to do some lab work. That was Thursday, September 29th. 

Fast forward to Saturday, October 1st. Sarah was excited to be going to the Husker game with her dad, something she'd really been looking forward to. The Huskers played great and won the game by a huge margin. It was around halftime that I got "the call". Our pediatrician took her time on a Saturday to keep check on Sarah's lab results as they continued to roll in. Everything was looking great except for a few glaring numbers. Those numbers were making the diagnosis impossible to ignore. So, for a second time in my life I heard a doctor gently say the two little words that change our life.... She's Diabetic. 

How do you tell your 16 year old daughter news like this?  Yes, she wants to feel better...but this?  This is a kid with a fear of needles. And now, now I have to help her come to terms with something completely life changing AND force her to face one of her biggest fears, because as of that moment her very life became dependent on it. That night at dinner, Sarah asked if the doctor called yet. I told her yes...and the silent tears that escaped my eyes gave it away. Sarah's reply was heartbreaking and was to be expected... "I want a retest!  I'm not diabetic. I'm not."  

Last week she has diligently tested her blood sugar every couple hours, logged her readings as well as her food (carbs that would soon need to be covered with insulin). Craig and I now traipse through the house in the dead of night, testing two daughters while they sleep. Morning finger pokes have become an unspoken competition to see who has the better number with Gracie dancing and singing "I win. I win. I win I win I win" on the rare occasion that she wins. And Sarah, now carrying her own "diabag" with her meter, snacks, and emergency supplies, as she heads out the door each day. Things that use to be simple now require extra caution...no starting the car if you don't know your BG, no snacks bigger than 15 grams of carbs right now, a finger poke and insulin injection before your first bite, to name a few. It's all so familiar yet all brand new at the same time. 

We've lived this life for 11 years, but now the dynamics are different. She's a teen having to wrap her mind around this. I'm her mom needing to help her own the responsibility of all it entails and not just doing it for her, like I was able to do when Gracie was diagnosed as a baby. And Craig has his protection instinct kicking in overtime, making sure his family, and these two especially, have everything they need to live healthy and well. 

Sarah and I made the trek up to Mayo Clinic to see our Endo yesterday. Just she and I, a rarity in a family this size. A long road trip, no doubt, but time well spent. We had the chance to talk, giggle, laugh at and with each other, sipping on Starbucks, making fun of each other's music, being goofy. She snapchatted her friends nonstop, I listened to my Luke Bryan playlist. And, we would talk in snippits about what this diagnosis means in her life. You see, Type 1 diabetes is an invisible disability, so to speak. People with it usually look totally fine,  they live normal lives, do anything they want to do...but those finger pokes and insulin injections they HAVE to do, are quite literally their life support. They cannot live without it. They cannot run away from it, take a break from it, ignore it...it won't go away nor will they out grown it. They can't kick start their pancreas by changing what or how they eat, working out, or taking the latest supplement.  And, for now, there is no cure. 

This is a lot for a 16 year old to wrap her mind around. It's a lot for us parents to wrap our minds around as well....at times it can seem insurmountable. But Sarah reminded me of something without even knowing it...as she's working so hard to keep her head focused on God and His will for her life in all this, she keeps reminding herself of the fact that God wouldn't put her here only to abandon her. He loves her. He created her. He planned her life. This isn't a surprise to Him and He indeed has a plan for all this. This is just part of her story. 

I too, cling to that promise.....God will not abandon me. No matter how hard the days and nights are, He is there carrying the load and directing my steps. So when something unwelcome barges through the door, I don't need to hide. I can face the unwelcome challenge knowing I have the power and protection of my Lord and Savior...who loves me and has not nor ever will abandon me. 

Life is a Highway Full of Adventure....

...and you just never know where it may lead you. 

Today began with us hitting the road for Fort Callhoun and our annual Alpaca Farm Day excursion. We just love these animals!  They are so incredibly soft and have such fun personalities. We've been learning quite a bit about them over the past couple of years and hope to have some in the near future. Their fleece makes amazingly soft and warm fiber to be turned into all sorts of fun things...our favorites being socks, mittens, and scarves. Spun in their natural colors or dyed a rainbow of rich colors, the yarn it gets spun into is just a dream to work with for any project you care to make. They are sweet, gentle animals and would be so much fun to have a herd of our own to tend each day. 

On our way to the alpaca farm, I took a double take and couldn't believe my eyes. There in a pasture, right alongside a few other animals was, of all things, A CAMEL. I kid you not. So to be sure I hadn't lost what little shred of sanity I have left, on our way home, we back tracked to find that camel. Sure enough, there he was, relaxing and enjoying this beautiful fall morning in Nebraska. We pulled over, off toward the ditch, to snap some pictures when the farmer happened to come along and invite us over. Yes, again, only in Nebraska:). He was such a nice man with an incredible life story. It turns out that his animals are pretty much all rescues in one way or another and he has a heart for not only saving them, but using them to help at risk youth as well. So there we were, spending a very pleasant hour and a half unexpectedly in a pasture surrounded by not only Zar the camel (whom Farmer has had since he was a month old and is now 4 years old), but a zonkey named Murphy, Dexter the big ol' paint horse, a small size bull named Bernie that has the temperament of a Labrador, a gorgeous jersey cow named Malcolm, a lamb, and two pot bellied pigs. Across the pasture were two mini donkeys and two mini paint ponies, and farmer even has a wolf (which we didn't have the opportunity to meet). Can you even imagine????  Seriously, you have no idea what fun it is to walk through a pasture with a camel, zonkey, and paint pony flanking you, and a jersey cow, a gentle bull, and a lamb following on your heels!!!  Yes, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven!!!  I was more than happy to jump outta that truck, into a muddy road ditch full of weeds and burrs sticking into my sweater and leggings the rest of the day for a chance to get up close and personal with a camel!!!

We made it back to Lincoln just in time for the JDRF One Walk, something we've participated in every year for the past eleven years. Gracie is in her tenth year as a youth ambassador for JDRF and our annual walk is a highlight for her. 

As you can imagine, I've got some tired girls around here tonight. It's been a full day, but one stuffed with the things memories are made of. These are the days I cherish. 

A Veterinarian In The Making...Maybe

That critter up there is Phoenix the Frog. He's been part of our family for over a decade. I never know where he's going to pop up, but he's never far. Gracie LOVES this goofy frog. She bought him at a yard sale when she was a toddler and he offered her a lot of comfort In the early days after her diagnosis with Type 1 Diabetes. He was the perfect size to fit in her little hand, his bead filled body offering stress relief as she would squeeze him each time she was faced with something difficult and at times painful. As you can plainly see, he is well loved :)

Time has taken its toll on Phoenix...his color is rubbing off and somewhere along the line he's gotten a couple cuts in his back (I'm thinking a curious kitten claw, the most likely cause), but Gracie still loves him dearly. I found him on my desk the last couple days, along with an odd assortment of "stuff" that many would assume to be trash. Knowing my daughter's heart the way I do, however, I didn't disturb any of it and just observed what was going on with this goofy frog while he was in her homemade ER. I watched as she gingerly tended to the cuts on his back. She has made casts out of wet napkins that dry in a perfect mold of her little friends shape. She's made different types of bandages. She's even constructed some sort of (for lack of a better description) sling with rubber bands, a clip, and a foam circle from my Nike insole (the piece that fills the spot I put my Nike Tracker in my shoe). If you look closely, you see that she even has a toy syringe that I assume she is using to clean his wounds as well as administer antibiotics to her little friend. 

I love to see her heart for all of God's critters. She is so gentle and loving towards them all and works to better the lives of any that are in unfortunate circumstances. She was a born rescuer. Yes, that means she (and all her sister...and yes, her parents too) tends to bring home every critter that crosses her path, be it for a moment or a lifetime. God wired her this way; He gave her a nurturing heart. Watching her care for her toy frog makes me smile and truly makes my own heart happy. I mean, if she puts so much love and care into a toy frog, you can only imagine the care and love she puts into real live, living breathing critters as well. 

Just me and God :)

After yesterday's adventures, and me not being a rookie homeschool mom;), I thought it wise to let the girls get a little extra sleep this morning. Frankly, they were wound tighter than spring loaded STP cars last night and couldn't wind down till late...and I'm not one who chooses to poke a sleeping bear. This gave me a little extra time to spend with God this morning. What an awesome treat for a Monday :) 

I caught up on my scripture writing journal; I'd slipped over the weekend, spent time praying over friends and family....then my little 2 minute homeschool moms devotion. Don't ever think for a moment God doesn't know your heart and mind. This morning's devo hit on something I've been thinking about for weeks.

As parents, we are always quick to teach our kiddos to be true to their word; keep their promises. But do we always set the best example or do we excuse and justify ourselves?  There's a fine line sometimes, between keeping a promise and rewarding "bad" behavior. 

Last week I told Gracie I'd take her to Walmart when we were finished with our lessons...the time came. I told the girls to scoop litter boxes while I finished something before we went, then it happened....I looked into their bathroom and saw they hadn't done their chores at all, for days, like they eluded to with every "uh huh" they offered up when asked if their chores were done. Yes, there are consequences for not holding up your responsibilities and then giving the impression you had....but in this case, I was wrong. I was angry and felt justified in breaking my promise to take her to Walmart. You see, I went and did the shopping, ALONE, while they stayed home (with dad) to actually do the chores they'd neglected for days. My promise was contingent on "when we finish our lessons" period, nothing more. I changed the rules. What did that teach my girls?  Yes, they did learn to get their chores done or there are consequences, BUT, one of those consequences should not be a broken promise from Mom. I should have handled things differently, better. And, God being amazing, all-knowing, gracious, and merciful such as He is, gently showed me today that He knows I've been pondering this very thing for awhile now and gave me some extra time this morning to speak directly to me. And, he allowed me these few extra  quiet moments with just Him and I to come to terms with my own ponderings and struggles. He answered my questions, and put it all to rest. We serve an AWESOME God, whom loves each of us in a very real and personal way!